I am an active participant on Mamasource and it seems that many 4-5 yr olds all of a sudden are fearful of going to Kindergarten about this time. So here is a technique that I used with children when they were afraid (did my therapeutic internship at a residential treatment center).
Sit on the floor with your daughter. You mirror exactly what you ask her to do. Use descriptive words that she can relate to. Here goes.
Let’s put a pretend ball in each of our hands.
1. When you think of going into your kindergarten room, what color is the ball?
2. What shape is the ball? Is it round, does it have pointers (spikes on it)? (Make different shapes by drawing in the air – zigzag, irregular shape)
3. What does it feel like? Is it soft, hard, ruff like sandpaper or the sidewalk? Pointy like a fork that you eat with?
4. Let’s each of us put the ball to our ear. Does it have a sound? (if so) What does it sound like?
5. Put the ball to your nose? Does it have a smell? (if so) what does it smell like?
6. Is the ball small? (show the size with your hands by cupping them together, start with the size of a ball that you play jacks with. Then go to a medium size ball, or a large beach ball).
7. Is the ball moving or standing still?
8. Is the picture of the ball real close to you or far away?
(Now you are ready to transform the imaginary feelings that are going on in your child). Put a smile on your face so that your child believes this is the fun part.
1. What is your favorite color? Ok, lets turn the ball into (pink or whatever she says). Tell me when it is (pink).
2. Lets make the ball round.
3. Lets make the ball smooth.
4. Let’s turn off the sound. (If there was a sound).
5. What is your favorite smell? Ok, let’s have the ball smell like…
6. Make the ball the perfect size for you.
7. If your child said the ball was bouncing tell her to have the ball resting and quiet. If she said the ball was still, have her have it bouncing happily.
8. Have your daughter take the picture of the ball and move it way out in front of her until it becomes a dot and disappears.
9. Good job.
10. Now ask her what fun thing she would like to do and do whatever she wants. This is important. (Maybe they want to play with their toy train!)
This “little” exercise looks like nothing but brings absolutely amazing results. Even adults have wonderful transformational experiences after doing the exercise.
